Updated: Jan 12, 2019
I honestly did not know that my very own happiness was something that I had the power to change.
I thought my current level of happiness or unhappiness for that matter was dependent on the circumstances outside of me; how things were impacting me made me feel a certain way.
I was at the mercy of my surroundings...
If someone spoke to me rude it could throw my whole day into a tail spin, the freaking weather would make or break my mood, the amount in my online bank account eeeek - don't even go there! I couldn't catch a break it seemed!
Exhausted. Depleated. Depressed. Soggy, groggy, lame, undesirable ... however you want to describe it, I let it consume me.
Inactively I became my surrounds and absorbed what was happening 'to me' and let it define me.
I knew deep inside of me this was not the case; I was a loving, loud. vibrant woman who had so much life to live and so much to give... yet I could not access it.
This was the case until the help of a team of highly trained coaches + teachers guided me through a variety of exercises and I was able to see that this is a pattern, this way of being that I had become was NOT me!
I was able to see that I had a choice. Not only choosing my own happiness, but in everything about my life for that matter, I could choose what to do, how I let it impact me + in this I shifted the power source of my life.
HOLY, FRICKEN, FREEDOM.
Followed shortly there after by the thought, 'oh shit- what have I unlocked here!'
RAW. LIFE FORCE.
In that moment, I was able to see that the way I had been living; in a constant defensive stance, bracing against the wilderness of the world, was not the only way to live! I felt deep within my soul that I had the power inside me to impact the world around me and I touched the deep trust in myself to know how to use this power on purpose + in alignment with my soul's calling.
Simply, I could make up my mind to be happy, I could shift the power source from external to internal. The world then begins to mirror my joy right back onto me instead of the misery.
Don't believe me?
Try it out for yourself ... walk into a clothing store or somewhere where you would usually require help shopping but before you walk in decide you are grumpy; you're in an awful mood, wear it on your face, your body, your gestures... see what happens.
Then, maybe the next day, walk back into the same store, but this time before you walk in decide you are happy; feel as though you have a million dollars in your bank account, you've just won a Grammy award, whatever it takes for you to embody happiness ... and see the difference in those around you. [Exercise from Steering By Starlight, Martha Beck]
Let me know how it goes! I can't wait to hear :)